It’s here! The first cry, the first time sucking on the breast, the smell, this unique, one-of-a-kind perfume of the new earthling that has been in your belly for nine months. It’s love at first sight, but basically you’ve loved it all along. The hormones do the rest, and now, from one moment to the next, you have a new name, a new role, a life task: mom.
It is the greatest, but also the most exhausting and thankless job that awaits you from now on. The feelings are like a roller coaster ride, everything is new, there is a before and an after, and as much as you think you are still the same – you are not. Not for you, and not for your partner. You have achieved something wonderful, both of you, and you can be proud of yourself.
But the disillusionment comes unfortunately much too fast. Sleepless nights. Excessive demands. Stress. Milk congestion. Mastitis. Breastfeeding problems. Colic. Baby blues. There’s no way to prepare for that. And yes, every baby is different. There are also the eight-hour-a-night sleepers. The contented ones who only make a sound when they’re hungry. I myself had the pleasure once. However, this is not reality. Reality catches up with you when you realize – especially with firstborns – that you are still wearing your pajamas in the evening. When you smell like persimmon and only hours later discover the brown stain on your t-shirt. When you realize you haven’t showered in days. And when you no longer have any privacy, not even in the bathroom. When you can’t fall asleep because you’re so tired, and you’re wide awake again at the slightest sound the baby makes. And especially when you are alone with the baby and have no one to help you.
It’s a maturation process, also for the mother. To accomplish that makes a woman stronger. But it also takes a lot of strength. And all the well-meaning advice from your own mother, mother-in-law, friends, midwife or the thousands of guidebooks only make your head spin even more. What is right now? To let the baby sleep in its own bed? Or with yourself? Will I suffocate it at night? Will I hear it when it cries in its room? Is it eating enough? Why does it cry in the evening? Breast milk or bottle?
First of all, the most important thing: trust your intuition. You are the only one who knows what is best for your child. And you know it better than anyone else. Everyone means well when they give you their advice. It is your decision alone which ones you implement, which ones you listen to more closely. Because quite honestly: Even after three births, I can claim that the first time was the hardest. The first year as a new mom was the most exhausting and challenging for me. Everything was new, everything had to be learned first, every move, every facial expression. Give yourself time. Be patient with yourself. Get help wherever you can. Get sleep whenever possible. We tend to use baby’s naps for household chores or errands. However, a great household doesn’t make you more awake. Lay with your child, enjoy the quiet, soak up the scent, relax. A relaxed mom is much more valuable to everyone than a clean apartment. Have your groceries delivered, use a sling or baby carrier (I have to admit, I didn’t do so well with a sling, my favorite was the Manduca carrier – just try it!). Eventually you will become such a pro that even breastfeeding will be possible with it. And give yourself some time for yourself! A little exercise will help you against the baby blues and give you new energy. And yes, this is also possible with a baby! I’ll show you how with my fitness videos. Babies love it when you involve them. They don’t experience so much action otherwise. The program shouldn’t last longer than ten or twelve minutes, however it should be quite intense. After a few times you will notice that it is getting easier and easier. Your endurance will increase, you will feel your muscles, your self-confidence will grow – you will feel better all around. There is no reason why a mother should be less attractive than a woman without children. Be proud of yourself and show it to everyone!
Every time I gave birth to a child, I felt like I belonged to a special club. I knew more and I could do more than other women. I had a very special experience that many miss. No one could fool me any more (at least that’s how I felt). In my first pregnancy and also afterwards, I had neglected sports quite a bit. The extra kilos disappeared after a year, but I regularly noticed that I had back pain. And this started already after the birth. Of course, the hollow back in pregnancy, which you automatically develop because the heavy belly pulls in the front, does not disappear immediately, the muscles in the back are weakened and in the long run it comes to pain and tension. When I became pregnant for the second time, I wanted to prevent this. I started with light workouts, at that time treadmill, which I set steeply at a maximum of 6 km/h. The crazy thing? The more the pregnancy progressed, the steeper the incline became. Most recently, the day before birth, I was on the second to last incline and had two light dumbbells in my hands. The birth itself was much easier this time and I was amazingly fit afterwards. There was also no trace of back pain this time. (By the way, later, during my training as a personal trainer, I gave a lecture on this very topic: „Fit + Pregnant“. I will take up this topic again here at a later date).
A few weeks after I gave birth, I started working out again. Until eventually I discovered HIIT workouts. High Intensity Interval Training. So in other words, „short and intense.“ Within a very short time I became incredibly fit, my muscle tone improved, my endurance was as high as it had last been when I was 25. And I thought to myself: if I can do this, why shouldn’t it work for others? New Mum – the idea was born. If I can do it – why shouldn’t it work for other women? There is no reason to neglect yourself after giving birth. The baby comes first, the husband or boyfriend usually second, and ourselves come sometime after. Everything and everyone else takes priority. We resign ourselves to it. But there is no reason for that. It’s not about the partner. It’s not about the public. It’s just about ourselves. Can you look in the mirror and say: I am satisfied? I want to be like this? If so, you are doing everything right. I couldn’t do it then. I put myself in the back of the line. Basically until today. But I give myself more weight now. I take care of myself. Because no one else does. And because otherwise I will lose myself at some point.
I have a task for you: Look in the mirror in the morning. Smile at yourself. And name out loud three things you like about yourself. It can be your smile, your eyes, your little toe or your sense of humor. Every day. You are great. And you deserve to take care of yourself.
And one last important thing to realize is that this is only ever a phase. Whatever your baby is going through, growth spurts or not, it’s a phase. And these phases are here to stay. They will still come later. Not to mention puberty, if that ever isn’t one! But they will also pass. Trust in that.
new-me.blog 