When was the last time you looked in the mirror and told yourself that you were beautiful? That you like yourself the way you are? That you are grateful for your body, skin, hair? That you are proud to be funny and intelligent? Completely, without immediately going into criticism mode. Without looking for flaws in your own face or complaining about your figure.

Ideal ideas we have about ourselves make us disdain reality. It is either our own perfectionism, the constant comparison with others or simply the fact that we put ourselves last that make us dissatisfied with ourselves. 

We love our family, our friends and protect them. We also love material things and take care of them, be it the phone or the precious handbag. But love usually stops with ourselves. We pay attention to every new pimple, to every new gray hair, instead of seeing that we are good the way we are. We constantly compare ourselves with other women who are supposedly prettier, slimmer or more educated. Only to find more things about ourselves to criticize afterwards.

If you love something, you take care of it. If you love yourself, you take care of yourself. But do we even have the time for that? Or do we just not take it? Me Time – sounds a bit trite and egoistic. But it should only mean that we think of ourselves once a day, that we put ourselves first. Spending time consciously with yourself is also something that many of us are not able to do. We are so busy and distracted in our daily lives that spending time with ourselves brings up feelings that we don’t want to allow. To come to rest and to listen to yourself can have the consequence that you realize that you are not as balanced as you present yourself to the outside world. Relaxing and letting go takes practice. Being consistent and acknowledging your needs takes practice. Creating space for yourself takes practice. 

I recently read in a magazine article that, according to scientists, life satisfaction is growing (again) amongst women over the age of 50. While the forties are characterized by trials and getting to know one’s own strengths and weaknesses, the fifties are a kind of second puberty, a new beginning. Well, that gives us hope, of course. But honestly, how many of us will soon be celebrating our 50th? And what will the rest of us do for the next ten or twenty years before the satisfaction curve rises again?

Let’s start small, even if it’s only five minutes: A face mask with nice music, candlelight, a bubble bath, or just lie down and relax. Whatever happens in your mind, let it happen, but focus on yourself, on your breath, on positive thoughts. Become aware of what a great, unique person you are. In your hectic day at work, give yourself a conscious break to spend in the fresh air, perhaps on a walk. Reward yourself. Not materially, but with time that you give yourself. All the women around you have a perfect manicure and you can’t even manage to put on a colorless nail polish? Change that! It’s only an hour, and sometimes only every few weeks. You have this time. Take it. The same goes for a massage, facial or yoga class. Thank yourself afterwards. 

The time is there. It is now. You are now. There are things that should not be put off. Things that are good for you and that are positive should not be put on the waiting list. You live in the now, not the future. The future is uncertain. Take the moments for yourself, and you will also steer your future in the positive direction. 

You yourself are the only person you will spend your whole life with. Be mindful, be kind, be loving to your reflection. And it will be mindful, kind and loving to you.


Ein Gedanke zu “Self-love

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